funny

OoooooooooooooooooK!!!!!!! theres a lot of stuff i need to update yall on. Lots of stuff has happened. Especially since i havnt posted in a WHILE! I guess i kinda just figured no one was reading? That shouldnt really matter tho. I know. But anyway here is my long awaited update. and i promise to never go this long without a post ever again. Even if i just write a line or two. Lolz. So last time i told yall about linda. She was the insane bitch that made me finger fuck her bloody chach while simultaneously  almost choking me to death with her cotton panties? i think i started telling you about her crazy “attempted” suicide in my bathroom as well. Anyway that bitch is history. For now at least…hahaha. Nah, linda was fun. i guess? But my girlfriend came home the next day and i had to explain to her why there was blood all over the bathroom walls. Which was no easy task mind you. i made up some song and dance about how my buddy got in a fight downtown and came in stumbling drunk afterwards. Which has happened before mind you, albeit waaaay in the past. Either way she bought it. I mean, she wasnt expecting me to make up a cover story for the crazy shit that really went on. I guess i wasnt either. So she believed what i told her. In reality the situation was much more nuts than a friend, bloodied from battle, stumbling around drunk and enraged. The situation as it was, was much more real than that. It was something that didnt wrap up so neatly. Something that left behind much more than blood. Horrible memories. haunting is what it was. much more than i care to admit even. Linda, whom i later learned was a schizophrenic, in addition to being clinically depressed, tried to end her life in my house. It was a 6 hour ordeal i wish i had never lived through. My mind will never be the same. She stabbed at her wrists with a nail file over and over and over. I struggled to stop her but her strength was tremendous. Scary even. All i could do was watch as she turned her wrists into hamburger. I took a few stab wounds in the process but i just told my girlfriend that i had cut my self picking up glass from a bottle my friend had broke. I know that me and linda will never see each other again. For one shes probably gunna be institutionalized for quite a while. and two i get the impression that she wouldnt ever want to see me again either. She kept calling me “evil!” and telling me i was “possessed by satan.” i think it had somethingto do with me taking her virginity. Of course i had no clue at the time. She didnt tell me anything and definately seemed to know what she was doing (and then some). But hey, schizos say the damndest things, and as ive now learned are completely and totally crazy by any normal standards. No other way of putting it. Just crazy. Thats what i keep telling myself anyways. She was just crazy. She didnt know what she was doing. She didnt understand that i was not possesed by “satans children.” or that i was  honestly trying to help her. She didnt know i was just a horny guy that cant say no to some big ass titties and that i didnt want to take her “purity” it just kinda happened? Six hours though! An entire night of anguished cries and horrible moaning. Im suprised the neighbors never called the cops.Lord knows i tried to call them a few times myself. but that didnt pan out. Linda kept threatening to tell them that i raped her, that i kidnapped and forced her to perform sex acts against her will. I was scared. But in reality it actually worked out the other way. First she jerked me off into her mouth as i mentioned before ( i dont think i’ll ever get that image out of my head). Even as she was crying uncontrollably i manged to stay hard and shoot my load on her face. I thought she was just upset like a normal person and sex was her way of dealing. A nympho at worst (though i dont think i would of minded that so much). nope. infact it wasnt until she collected the cum off her face and tried to finger fuck my ass with it that i thought she might be a little off mentally. I wish i could say i didnt go on with it. That would be nice to be able to say. But im afraid i cant do that. Like i said “haunting…” so anyway, she rubbed my asshole with my own cum, I protested of course and was genuinely surprised but once she got her finger in there i sheepishly and regrettably acquiesced. never had i tried this before and figured that this was a once in a lifetime kinda thing. that hey, no one will ever know…or at least no one that i know will ever know, and before long her tongue came in to play. She licked the jizzm off my ass and her own fingers. she started giggling as well, then full on laughing, louder and louder, just to herself. I started to get turned off after that. I went soft as a kenny g record. And thats when she flipped. She reached around in vain trying to get me back up. But i was way turned off and my senses were quickly coming back to me. she continued trying to eat out my ass when i hurriedly pulled my pants back up.I felt a kind of panic as well. Like, who the hell is this person in my house?  What the fuck am i doing? She stopped crying/laughing also. That part scared me the most. She was silent. She just stared up at me breathing hard. Her eyes were wild, i could see that she wasnt “normal” by the way she looked at me. I tried talking to her. I kept telling her that “that was enough!” And that she needed to calm down. Then she started grinding her teeth really hard. I swear i thought her jaw was going to break. It was soo loud, the grinding echoed and amplified hellishly in the bathroom. i wanted to run for my life, but knew that i couldnt. so I tried to appear calm even though i was scared out of my mind. and you would be too if you saw how she was looking at me. She didnt blink. I started yelling at her to snap her out of it. Her mouth began to bleed cuz she had started to bite her tongue, but still her expression didnt change. Its late. I want to tell you more but gotta go to sleep. I have a job interview tomorrow. To be concluded… Luke Havergal

[Via http://noirfair.wordpress.com]

Strippermobile Shuns Las Vegas, Launches U.S. Tour

Just because it doesn’t happen in Las Vegas anymore, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t make sense- and money. Though the strippermobile is no longer trolling for customers down the Las Vegas Strip due to earlier Clark County Commissioner’s admanat objections based on safety concerns, in the next few weeks it will be going up and down Main Street, USA. 

On January 10, it will become a Las Vegas-born – and banned – business that took its show on the road. 

As previously reported by Las Vegas Backstage Access, the last and only time the vehicle rolled was November in Las Vegas, when bikini-clad strippers hopped aboard and gyrated inside the truck’s Plexiglas-enclosed cargo area, swung around a brass pole affixed to the middle of the truck bed. 

Launching what arguably may be one of the greatest marketing ploys ever, the  “Strippermobile Winter Tour 2010,” as it is dubbed, will be filmed as a documentary, carrying a full production crew with them.  Larry Beard, marketing guru for Déjà vu gentlemen’s club in Las Vegas, hopes to have it broadcast on cable television, albeit most likely adult on-demand channels. 

With three select strippers ready and willing to tout their wares, Beard expects the truck to roll out of Sin City on Jan. 10, making its first stops on their national tour in Southern California.  That state has almost 20 Déjà vu- operated strip clubs.  The strippermobile with then go up the coast, lingering in Portland, Ore., because, says Beard, the decency laws there are lax and the dancers will be totally nude during that stretch of the trip.   

After Portland, it’s off to Seattle, then to the Midwest- Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Michigan- all of which have Déjà Vu clubs.  Then it’s off to New York City and Times Square, down to Maryland, over to Kentucky and Tennessee, down to Florida for the college spring break and over to Louisiana for Mardi Gras.  Then their itinerary takes the crew to Colorado before the wayward truck comes home to roost once again in Las Vegas in the spring. 

“And on our travels, of course, we’ll get pictures of the girls alongside Mount Rushmore and other famous sites,” Beard says.

[Via http://vbablogger.com]

Color Temperature

I’ve come to the realization I have too much clothes. While cleaning my room I found garnments that I dont even wear anymore.

After a while I just started throwing shit together because I was bored with just cleaning.

I dressed up, put on pink lipstick, then dressed down,
And did a self photoshoot

[Via http://vagabondsinnyc.wordpress.com]

Phi Thanh Van: girl so sexy in red

 

[Via http://vernude.wordpress.com]